When You’re Always the One Holding It All Together
I remember a Mother’s Day when everything looked picture-perfect on the outside.
Cards were handed over with sweet scribbles. We went out to eat. My family was kind and thoughtful. It was, by all accounts, a good day.
But beneath the surface, I felt… off.
Not angry. Not ungrateful. Just flat.
Because even though the day was "for me," I was still carrying the weight of everything that came before it. The meals. The appointments. The invisible calendar in my head. The emotional load of work and home and everyone else’s needs.
I had shown up fully all week long—in client sessions, in parenting, in managing the behind-the-scenes of a life that doesn’t slow down just because Sunday has a label on it.
So even in the rest, I felt responsible. Even in the quiet, I felt the noise of everything I still hadn’t done.
Sound Familiar?
You don’t have to be a mom to feel this. Maybe you’re:
A woman navigating a hard season of waiting, grief, or transition
A business owner who quietly holds it all together behind the scenes
A working professional whose to-do list is longer than your lunch break
Or maybe you are a mom—and it feels like the world hands you one day off a year while expecting you to keep everything else running flawlessly.
Let me be the one to say what no card ever does:
If you feel tired, flat, or like you're one small ask away from snapping—it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re carrying a lot. And you might need space to come back to yourself again.
What the Mental Load Really Looks Like
You know that moment when you finally sit down at the end of the day, and your brain won’t shut off?
That’s not just stress. That’s the mental load.
It’s the:
Doctor appointments you haven’t scheduled yet
Follow-up emails sitting in drafts
Gifts you need to buy for three birthdays next week
Laundry in the dryer you’ll re-fluff for the third time because folding feels like too much
Business ideas you don’t have the margin to execute
Conversations you’re replaying while trying to fall asleep
It’s the constant mental spinning of someone who cares deeply, shows up fully, and has been told that balance is a goal—not a myth.
And that load? It’s heavy.
Real Self-Care: 3 Small Shifts That Actually Help
Forget the fluffy advice. You don’t need more candles or affirmations right now. You need real practices that lighten your mental and emotional load. Here are three that can actually help:
1. Ask yourself: What do I wish someone would do for me today?
Do you wish someone would plan dinner? Let you nap? Handle that one task you keep avoiding?
Now do a version of that for yourself—without guilt. Even if it’s imperfect. Even if it means letting something else go.
2. Block a margin window.
Choose one 15–20 minute window this week that is just for you. Not to catch up. Not to be productive. Just to pause.
No phone. No agenda. Just time to breathe, sit, journal, pray, stretch, walk—anything that reconnects you to you.
3. Say no without explaining.
This one is hard for us high-functioning women. But protecting your capacity isn’t rude—it’s responsible.
If a commitment, request, or invite adds pressure to your already-full plate, you’re allowed to say: “I can’t commit to that right now.” Period.
What I’m Building (and Why It Matters)
If you’re reading this thinking, This is me, I want you to know: I see you. And I’m building something for you.
It’s a new monthly membership designed for busy women managing real life—the work, the home, the invisible load—who want real tools and real support.
Inside, you’ll find:
Simple systems for managing time, energy, and priorities
Space to be seen and encouraged
Coaching that fits into your actual life
Monthly mindset + planning support to help you stop spinning and start aligning
Want to be the first to hear when it opens?
I’m creating a small interest list—not as a commitment, but as a way to gauge how many people this could really support.
If you're even curious about a space like this, I'd love for you to add your name. It just means you’ll get early access, a behind-the-scenes sneak peek, and a special discount when the doors open.
✨ No pressure. No obligation. Just a raised hand that says, “Keep me in the loop.” 🙋🏻♀️
👉🏼 Click here to join the interest list.
Or Let’s Talk One-on-One
Not sure if a membership is what you need? Maybe you just want to talk things through with someone who gets it.
I always offer a free 30-minute connecting call—no pressure, no expectations. Just space to talk about what’s working, what’s not, and what might help you move forward with more ease.
Click here to book your free connecting call.
Enneagram Corner: What Might Be Fueling Your Mental Load?
Every Enneagram type responds differently to the pressure of work and home. Here’s how that can look:
Type 1: Feels responsible for doing everything right before they can rest
Type 2: Puts everyone else’s needs first, even when depleted
Type 3: Believes slowing down means falling behind
Type 4: Longs for meaning, and feels restless when routines feel shallow
Type 5: Protects energy so fiercely they forget to ask for help
Type 6: Stays on high alert to prevent worst-case scenarios
Type 7: Avoids stillness, preferring activity over emotional weight
Type 8: Fears losing control, so they push through even when tired
Type 9: Minimizes their own needs to keep the peace
Whatever your number, your worth isn't tied to how much you do. You're allowed to rest. You're allowed to receive.
And this week, I hope you do.
Want more support? If this post resonated with you, join my interest list to be the first to hear about the new membership made for women like you: high-capacity, big-hearted, and ready for a better way to live and work.
